My wife and I are into wine. No, not the look-down-your-nose-wine-snob kind of into wine, the kind where we like to drink wine. We like good wine, and we like to try different types of wine. So, sometimes we get a bad one. That is part of the experience though, getting the know the good from the bad by experiencing different wines. The other night over a very good glass of wine (or, two) we were having a discussion about people that we know and our friends and how well they got along with their spouses. We’re lucky enough to know some great people. We’re also lucky enough that we get along with both of the people in their relationship.
Balance, yin & yang, or whatever you want to call it is a very important part of why I think many relationships work so well. One person picks up where the other leaves off. For example, I suck at finances, Sara, my wife, kills it in regards to finances. I used to stress out about being better at finances, thinking I need to be as good as her at it. I don’t do that anymore. I let her handle it. She’s much better at it than I am. The point is I’ve let go of something I know she is better at than I am. She does the same thing.
Letting go and focusing on balance:
- Removes tons of unneeded pressure in the relationship.
- Frees up both time.
- Frees up energy.
- Allows each person to focus on what they are good at.
- Allows each person to focus things they each want to do.
- Increases trust between both people.
Everything in moderation, including moderation.
― Oscar Wilde
The point I’m attempting to make is “balance”. Don’t go all out dropping anything you think you’re no good at. Communicate, evaluate, and think about the things that cause you stress or anxiety, and see if there is something both of you can scale back on, change, or yes, drop. Then focus that freed up energy and time on something that you know you’re good at or on something you want to do. The interaction between the two of you figuring whatever it is out, and then planning what you’re going to do about it is itself something that not many people get to experience.
Just like wine, you’re going to get some good ones that work out great, and you’re going to get some bad ones that don’t work out at all. The important part is you get the experience and now know what you will and will not do. Good luck, have fun with it, & cheers!